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Re: General Chatter

Post  SimonJ on Thu May 22, 2008 8:37 am

Air conditioner? More like Germ recycler. 0 sn4p!

Hey Luke, guys, you might be able to help me out. I met a guy the other day and I turned his head slowly around. Just when i thought it wouldn't go any further, I heard this weird popping snap. I asked the man, "Oh! What was that?" but he'd fallen asleep by then, so I quietly left and went home. I haven't heard from him for a few weeks. What do you think happened?

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Re: General Chatter

Post  Lisa on Fri May 23, 2008 5:41 am

That was hilarious. It made me choke on my water. I almost died.

Kudos.

I have to do maths for work. Maths is lame. I hate numbers. Give me words, sweet descriptive words, any day.
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Re: General Chatter

Post  Luke on Sat May 24, 2008 3:08 am

The Incredible Edible Anus!
http://www.edibleanus.com/

Be sure to read the testimonials...

‘The chocolates look incredibly realistic and they make a great gift.’
Boyz Magazine

'Thanks for the Incredible Silver Anus, it was a wedding gift. '
Buyer: courtney.bell

‘FUNNY GAG. TASTES GOOD TOO CONSIDERING IM EATING SOMEONES ASS!!! THANKS!! ’
Buyer: srhmusic

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Re: General Chatter

Post  Lisa on Sat May 24, 2008 3:42 am

Bambi, that is just wrong on so many levels.
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Re: General Chatter

Post  SimonJ on Mon May 26, 2008 4:05 am

Well would you look at that, an anoos made of cocoa bean moosh.

I think work is getting into my brain box. I had a dream in which I was an umpire in a game of street footy. I even remembered the signal for out on the full. You bring your elbows up with your palms flat and finger tips touching below your chin, then you spread your arms out.

Yep.

UPDATE: Knock Knock.
Who's there?
I diddap
I diddap who?
Awww gross!

(Say it out loud to yourself...trust me, you'll never regret it.)

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Re: General Chatter

Post  Lisa on Mon May 26, 2008 3:02 pm

It took me a few minutes to get that, because I have such killer enunciation that the punchline didn't all smoosh together right. But once it did...oh, the fun I had.
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Re: General Chatter

Post  Luke on Mon May 26, 2008 3:40 pm

I LOL'd, all right.

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Re: General Chatter

Post  Lisa on Mon May 26, 2008 5:00 pm

Alrighty, children. Because I know you're all interested - I've just applied for two jobs. One is less money than I'd earn than if I worked as a check-out chick, but it's a journalism gig. Which means I'd probably have to work as a check-out chick to supplement my income, anyway. The other is with Guide Dogs Victoria - I'm woefully under-qualified, and I lied on my application (I said I'd read the job description, but I haven't), but it's a great organisation, and it'd be fun.

Fingers crossed, people.
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Re: General Chatter

Post  Luke on Mon May 26, 2008 5:54 pm

Good luck. Job hunting is scary, as are the interviews. For me anyway. But you're a confident, young, vibrant woman with alot to offer your potential employers, and they will see that straight away. I have complete confidence in you.

My manager (yes, that one) begged me to work two shifts, 7pm to midnight, on Wed and Thurs this week, and I said yes. Now he REALLY wants to blow me. Fingers crossed, people!

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Re: General Chatter

Post  Lisa on Tue May 27, 2008 2:05 am

Luke wrote:Good luck. Job hunting is scary, as are the interviews. For me anyway. But you're a confident, young, vibrant woman with alot to offer your potential employers, and they will see that straight away. I have complete confidence in you.

No one appreciates sarcasm, Luke.
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Re: General Chatter

Post  Luke on Tue May 27, 2008 2:55 am

I think the 80s were a very confusing time...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AecLM0bmRoQ

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Re: General Chatter

Post  Lisa on Tue May 27, 2008 4:23 am

I feel dirty after watching that.

And also sad that I can't eat bread.

Sigh.

Edit: Dangit - I just read an article about how Coke - sorry, sorry... the Dark Master, Dark Lord, Black Magic, whatever - destroys your DNA. The sodium benzoate in it shuts down mitochondrial activity. But that's only in Diet Coke. So carry on.


Last edited by Lisa on Tue May 27, 2008 6:38 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Because Coke messes with your body's calcium levels, and can lead to calcium deposits in your kidneys - also known as kidney stones, also known as not fun. So don't drink too much Coke.)
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Re: General Chatter

Post  Lisa on Tue May 27, 2008 8:01 am

I'm at work, and I'm bored.

Sometimes I think that the way I feel about Counting Crows is how it must feel to be in a long-term relationship. I mean, I take them for granted, I go for long stretches of not listening to them, get irritated when they cancel dates (tour dates are dates), find myself drawn to younger, more attractive men, and start believing that maybe they're not as great as I though they were... and yet I always come back to them, and when I do, I find another reason to fall in love with them all over again. I even get butterflies in my tummy when I listen to my favourite songs.

Obviously a long-term relationship and my love of Counting Crows are nothing alike, but you get my point.
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Re: General Chatter

Post  SimonJ on Tue May 27, 2008 8:40 am

Luke wrote:I think the 80s were a very confusing time...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AecLM0bmRoQ

What.

"Whenever you start to feel nostalgic about the '80s, remember that it was loaded with crap like THIS. Funny in retrospect, but... "


Friends, you need to do something for me. You both need to burn me a simple MP3 disc of albums I might like or should have. Don't discriminate either, give me any genre, even if you think I might not like it. A few requests:
LUKE - Band of Horses. Any other hip young bands you seem to have your finger in.
LISA - give me a try at Counting Crows then.

If you do this, you will recieve a super simon bonus.

I find myself judging people so harshly some times. A girl I met in hospital just added me and I sent an hello message and what i got back was one massive paragraph without punctuation or capital letters and a lol at the end of almost every 'sentense.' There was also one of these: ??????????????????????? None of this was done for ironic effect. It made me cringe. I'm not a total arsehole and I'm going to respond instead of block her outright, but I did think, "Oh my, what a faux pas." She also stressed she had been single for 18 years...I guess that's what you get for having curly red hair.

Seacrest, out!

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Re: General Chatter

Post  Lisa on Tue May 27, 2008 8:53 am

I'm totally going to burn you a CD. It's going to be great.

Wait, I don't want to hype it up.

It's going to be average. Slightly above average.
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Re: General Chatter

Post  SimonJ on Tue May 27, 2008 9:10 am

Anticipation is slightly aroused.

Seeing indy tonight. I expect to be thouroughly whelmed.
.
That little pocket rocket Denea is coming. As is Julia. They met without my presence. COMBINATION OF WORLDS! EXPLOSION!

So it seems all the other CF patients my age or around abouts have mental problems. Eating disorders, psychoses, extreme-o tantrums. Fuckin' bizarre. I can see why, but so many? Seems a little indulgent to me...


Last edited by SimonJ on Tue May 27, 2008 9:19 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : because fuck you, I wanted to. Are you questioning me forum? I fuckin' own you! I could delete you with the flick of my wrist!)

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Re: General Chatter

Post  SimonJ on Tue May 27, 2008 10:28 am

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=34892437

Weezer's new video. i|\|t3r|\|3tz!

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Re: General Chatter

Post  Lisa on Tue May 27, 2008 10:31 am

I enjoy how you assume that you don't have mental problems - you could be crazy and just not know it... we could all be figments of your imagination, or something.
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Re: General Chatter

Post  SimonJ on Tue May 27, 2008 10:34 am

Oh I'm crazy. Just not like how they are. I don't hide under my bed crying...

Well, not since I was introduced to the big red Snarj who comes over at night to stand gaurd at my bed.

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Re: General Chatter

Post  SimonJ on Tue May 27, 2008 6:29 pm

Luke, dude, just email me or ask me here. It's clear I'm never going to be reachable when you need me.

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Re: General Chatter

Post  Luke on Wed May 28, 2008 2:10 am

Never? Sad

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Re: General Chatter

Post  SimonJ on Wed May 28, 2008 4:45 am

You know what I mean soldier.

EDIT: I gave you a call anyway. i'm a great person. HA!
I had an advanced ape genetically engineered for me so that I could have sex with it. The sex wasn't that good. I think I wasted my money.

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Re: General Chatter

Post  Lisa on Wed May 28, 2008 5:49 am

So, Simon J Green, what did you think of Indy?
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Re: General Chatter

Post  SimonJ on Wed May 28, 2008 5:59 am

It was meh. It had some funky moments, was obviously cheesy. Brok and I entertained ourselves the most with our uncanny ability to predict what was coming and then laugh at how amazingly right we were. And once that chamber starts spinning and Katya Blanchett starts yelling "I'm ready! Tell me!" all sense had left the building. But I really like the sword fight, the zombie inca ninjas were kinda neat and as the second film I've ever seen LeBooooof in, I gotta say I liked him. The chase scene was a goodin too. And the ants. All the nice action pieces I guess.
What I could've lived without? CGI monkeys and gophers.

UPDATE! Holy fuckin' shiat! I just got an email from Madman. They not only have given me access to all thier DVD range, they've specifically asked that I try and get as many of their DVDs for review as possible! We ahve ulitmate accesss to MADMAN! THAT'S A FUCKIN' CREAM DREAM!

NEW FUN DOUBLE PLUS EXCITING: I'd like to introduce you to the newest craze: Numberwang! Once you've watched one, go to the related links to find even more Numberwang!
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=numberwang&search_type=

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Re: General Chatter

Post  Lisa on Thu May 29, 2008 6:15 am

I have two new projects:

1) To produce a series of mix tapes that are compiled of songs with titles that construct a coherent sentence - preferably a sentence that reflects the sentiment or purpose of the mix. My first attempt will be a sad song mix - just because it's far and away the easiest one to do. I'd also like to do road trip mix, a happy mix, a rainy day mix, a sleeping mix, a sex mix (hellz yeah), a work mix, and an exercise mix.

2) To learn, and use, a new Yiddish word every day. I love Yiddish. Today's word is "schnook": a meek or gullible person.
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Re: General Chatter

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